This year has been a pretty bad year for hip-hop. Sure we’ve had great albums from the likes of Eminem and Drake (yes, Drake) but the majority of rappers have either been MIA or just down right horrible. I’ve decided to name and shame 12 rappers who belong in the latter category in hope that they’ll either step their game up or step off the side of a cliff.
Please note that this list only features “known” rappers (ie. rappers who you can google and have more than a myspace page pop up) so guys like THIS won’t make the cut even though I’m sure we can all agree he rightfully deserves the #1 spot!
12. Dr. Dre
Now don’t get me wrong, I like Dr. Dre… no scratch that, I LOVE Dr. Dre! The problem is I’ve been waiting patiently for Detox since I was 13 and I’m now almost 23. After a decade of silence, rumours, myths and legends we FINALLY got to hear Under Pressure the first single from the long awaited Detox and… It fucking sucks! Dre would have you believe that the song posted above is an unfinished version of the track but unless he plans to re-write his lyrics, start the beat over from scratch and throw Jay-Z a little more change for a better verse I’m convinced that nothing can salvage this debacle. So, for the Under Pressure alone Dre has earned himself a spot of our worst rappers of 2010 list. His equally awful second leak Turn Me On only confirms his placement.
Ok look, I like Game too but let’s catalogue all the duds that he has dropped over the past 12 months or so, shall we? Here goes… Krazy, Turn Off The Lights, Pussy Fight, Shake, Better Days, Better On The Other Side, Big Money, It Must Be Me, Phantom, Pushing It, Everything Red, Ain’t No Doubt About It and I’m sure there’s a few more that I’m forgetting… all these songs have failed to reach any sort of commercial success despite features from the likes of Justin Timberlake, Robin Thicke, Lil’ Wayne, Birdman, Ray J, Gucci Mane, Pharrell Williams & T.I. When you gonna drop another One Blood homie, the streets is waiting.
10. B. Pumper
You gotta love Pumper’s grind (pause). After exposing Montana Fishbourne’s leopard print ass to the world Pumper put the month of August in a chokehold by releasing more rap videos than I can count on both hands. The problem is 90% of them were wack and all the video’s looked the damn same! As a pornstar it’s understandable that Pumper doesn’t realize that less is more (pause?) but C’mon Son do you really need to drop 4 video’s a week, all about shot in the same location too. I also grew tired of hearing him rap about sex all the time. We know you fuck bitches Pumper, now go away and come back when you’ve got something else to tell us, or better yet just go away and stay away.
09. Tony Yayo
Busta’s “Pass The Courvoisier pt. 2” was one of the biggest songs of 2002, now 8 years later the black sheep of G-Unit is swagger jacking with “Pass The Patron” and I can honestly say this is one of the worst rap songs I’ve ever heard. The Fruity Loops Demo beat, sub-mediocre lyrics and uninspired 50 Cent hook are all equally embarrassing and the video (which I’m confident will NEVER see the light of day on TV) is even worse! Yayo also fucked up this year by release his god-awful “Gunpowder Guru” mixtape on iTunes, needless-to-say this has not been a good year for the predicate felon.
I’m now embarrassed to say that I used to like UK rapper Kano. Songs like Signs In Life and even Nite Nite capped off the end of my teenage years with a bang. However ever since his sophomore album Kano has been on a downhill decline, a decline which piqued with the release of the awful, awful Rock N Roller. I’m not exactly a professional when it comes to Rock ‘N Roll but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t involve shitty techno beats, auto-tune and boring tales about “shutting down clubs”. The ironic part is Kano actually rose to fame 5 years ago with the rocking Typical Me, oh and did I mention his new album is so bad that it should be illegal? Well, now you know.
07. Soulja Boy
Imma be honest, I’ve only heard 1 or 2 Soulja Boy songs this year but I did see that Kat Stacks video though! Taking coke and sliding in Kat Stacks raw automatically puts Soulja on this list but dropping bullshit like “Pretty Boy Swag” just made his position higher. Since when has it been cool for dudes to call themselves “pretty” and “sexy” am I missing something here? The sooner Soulja files for bankruptcy and disappears, the better.
After a decade in jail Shyne has now been released from his chains and is back in the booth. It’s just a shame that he “coincidentally” sounds like someone who’s been deep-throated for 10 years straight. Never before has a rapper fell off as hard as Shyne has… also he lives on an island and we all know you can’t go to war from a fucking island!
05. Eli Porter
Eli became an internet sensation overnight after he took part in 2003’s Iron Mic freestyle battle. His unbelievable verse was witnessed by millions of people on YouTube and Eli gained at least 8 true fans across the globe. Since no other Eli related media could be found online the youngster was presumed dead and world collectively mourned. But in 2010 The People’s Champion proved that he’s the Jesus of hip-hop and returned to shut down all the rumours! He now has a Myspace page and is promising to release a mixtape sometime in the near future. My advise, “stop rapping, stick to walking crippled”
In 2009 Bangs took girls to the movies, but after dropping a classic mixtape, shutting down shows, starring in Honda ads and finally securing a record deal the YouTube star now only wants to meet them on Faceboook. I know they say money changes people but damn Bangs, does “making love on Facebook” really do it for you? You fell off son!
03. 50 Tyson
Right now, this is… wait, it goes like this though… ugh, next…
02. Lil’ B
While Eli, Tyson and Bangs are terrible in a good way Soulja Boy’s apprentice Lil’ B is just BAD. The “Based God” is so bad that it’s not even funny, he’s so bad that fucking Kat Stack’s would actually make HER look bad. Lil’ B first popped up on Gaydar’s when he declared to be Hannah Montana, now several punches to the face later this little nigga thinks he’s Paris Hilton. If this is hip-hop then I no longer want to be a part of it.
And the award for worst rapper of 2010 goes to… this Aussie fuck! Word’s can’t even begin to describe how much R.A.E.D sucks so just click on the video and try not to insert a sharp object in your ear canal to numb the pain.