We as humans unfortunately know the toll grief can take on us, especially when that death is sudden with still so much life left to live. We go through their possessions, clean out their homes, and reflect on our memories, but we never think: what about the dog? Not just who will get the dog but what happens mentally to a dog when their owner is never coming back.
Scott McGhee and David Siegel ask this question in The Friend, an adaptation of Sigrid Nunez’s transformative novel that makes the reader feel the heaviness of grief through human and dog eyes. In this adaptation, Naomi Watts plays Iris, a writer and teacher who lost her friend and fellow author Walter (played by Bill Murray) to suicide. While Walter wasn’t the best person, a womanizer with a complex past and wives, they had a love and respect for each other that went beyond mentor and mentee. Despite their closeness, it comes as a shock to Iris that Walter not only committed suicide but also left her his dog Apollo, a massive Great Dane who is half Iris’s size. Soon Iris finds herself managing not just her grief but Apollo’s, who often cries for Walter and sleeps with his clothes in Iris’s tiny NYC apartment. He longs for Walter and sits at the door waiting for his return. In a way Iris is doing the same. His death has to be one big joke, right? What starts as an inconvenience, as Iris desperately tries to pass off Apollo to Walter’s friends and family, soon turns into her discovering they need each other more than she thinks.
The Friend is a brilliant and kind look at grief, navigating the world with unspoken feelings of loss and regret. By shifting the book’s perspective from Walter to Iris, it allows Watts to give a genuine performance that balances somberness and outright anger with confusion. When Apollo steps into the picture, he not only becomes a direct connection to Walter, but she also finds herself understanding emotions she can’t put into words, ironic for a professional writer. There is an understanding between them that is masterfully expressed with just their eyes. The apartment’s atmosphere shifts.
At first, she tries to give Apollo away, almost begging anyone to take him, and she has a good reason: her apartment is tiny and already filled with a lifetime of stuff. Also, her building doesn’t allow dogs, and a Great Dane is not a breed you can easily sneak onto elevators. This and many other moments make for a comical situation, especially when Apollo takes over Iris’s bed, forcing her to sleep on the floor. Soon their bond becomes so strong the thought of losing Apollo puts her into a state of shock; she can’t see herself without him, not because of Walter but because she genuinely cares about someone other than herself.
While The Friend at times becomes slightly overdramatic with a too-perfect conclusion, it works because of the supporting cast and heartfelt time spent caring about these characters. Murray, as the man responsible for putting Iris in this situation, is not only endearing but also painfully insightful. The movie is not about him but because of him. He understands Iris’s grief because he’s grieving himself. He appears full of life, gleefully unkempt, but yet there was a sadness about him that made him resolute in his final decision.
Carla Gugino and Constance Wu shine as Wife Number One and Wife Number Two, two vastly different women that reflect the multiple sides of Walter. It’s easy to see why Walter fell in love with them despite them being so opposite. Through them we learn more about Walter and his affinity for dating his students. While Wife Number One keeps her emotions close, she observes the interactions around her, offering advice to Iris but never overstepping. While Wife Number Two cares more about writing a memoir about her now-dead ex-husband and going on shopping sprees, her dry humor is both hilarious and annoying. She draws you in with every sarcastic line.
The Friend is further developed through various NYC locations as Iris is forced to lug around Apollo throughout the streets; you feel the massive weight of their predicament. It seems almost unfair the city is bursting with life and promise, as their world has gotten darker and smaller; it’s a reminder the world stops for no one. Tom McCarthy, as Iris’s therapist, helps with the grief process, allowing Iris to completely release her emotions about Walter, the dog, and her former life. Through this process and McCarthy’s insight, both Iris and Apollo begin to heal, realizing Walter prepared her all along.
Discover more from The Koalition
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
