Creating a “Mathematical!” Adventure Time Video Game

[alert type=”green”]Spoilers ahead![/alert]

If you are anything like me, you have wanted to play a decent Adventure Time game for a very long time. Unfortunately for all of us, we have yet to experience a console title that truly encapsulates the franchise. I feel that the time for change has come and that a worthy game should be made and I have just the recipe for it!

Keep in mind, this editorial dives deep into Adventure Time lore, if you are afraid of any spoilers, please click away!

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The Failures

I purchased the collectors edition of Adventure Time: Hey Ice King! Why’d you steal our garbage?!! in the hopes that I would be able to explore the Land of Ooo, adventuring with my favorite characters and pulling off mathematical moves. Instead, I was greeted with strange voice acting, 80s graphics, and laughable gameplay.

Next on the list was Adventure Time: Explore the dungeon because I DON’T KNOW! which was another major disappointment. Considering the dungeon exploration in the television show, WayForward Technologies created a basic dungeon crawler which lacked any real “pazzaz” and left me shouting, “NOT AGAIN!”.

Keep in mind, both of these titles received less than five out of ten on all ranking boards. In addition, none of these games required any real skill and most importantly, they did not get the franchise right. As a superfan of the series and lover of all things gaming, I am proposing a new Adventure Time video game idea; but first, let’s analyze the series itself.

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The Back Story

Most people assume that Adventure Time is meant for children, which could not be any further from the truth. Adventure Time, at its surface seems stellar and high-energy, but at its core you will find complexities and back stories that can only be interpreted by teenagers and older audiences. The show highlights romance, apocalypse theories, homosexuality and most importantly, the power of companionship in the midst of nothingness — that my friends, is not for kids.

What do we love most about Adventure Time? Some would say the gut-busting humor and downright genius slang, such as “hams” which means “butt” (of course) and “what the zip?” which translates to “hey man, why the heck did you do that?” or “algebraic!” which almost always means “how gloriously awesome!”. Of course there is my personal favorite, “dumptrucks,” which in Finn language means “feeling sad.”

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According to statements from Pendleton Ward (the creator of Adventure Time) he has noted that the Land of Ooo is actually a post-apocalyptic Earth. Although no official statements have been made as to how the world came to its end, we do know that it involves the aftermath of the Mushroom War, or as we know it, atomic warfare (atomic cloud = mushroom = mushroom war).

The radiation following the atomic warfare is what resulted in the near extinction of humans and a new generation of colorful, strange creatures in the the Land of Ooo as we know it today. Could you agree that this eerie origin story is more than befitting for a competent, well-told video game plot?

Something truly special about the Adventure Time universe is how magical it is (don’t worry Princess Bubblegum fans, we still believe in science). The countless princesses that reign over every region and every thing, the Cosmic Owl, the Party God, Magic Man and so many other characters which make the world so endless and so awesome. These major players in the series would all make for amazing in-game characters in our hypothetical Adventure Time game.

The Proposal

So I am proposing now that an Adventure Time fighter title be placed into production. This game would share a foundation similar to Mortal Kombat, but without the spine tearing and spleen gouging. This fighter game would contain back stories, character asides and epic battles and it shall be hence known as “Adventure Time: The Cosmic Ham Battle”.

I know, I know…it seems extreme and for all intents and purposes, it totally is! All craziness aside, just close your eyes and think about it.

The fights would take place in a variety of locations, all of which can be interacted with, similar to Injustice: Gods Among Us. I propose the following locations be made into playable arenas:

Prismo’s Time Room
Flame Kingdom
Finn and Jake’s Treehouse
Ice King’s Tower
Wizard City
The Nightosphere
Lumpy Space
Candy Kingdom
and many others…

Now to the most interesting part, the characters. Of course, Adventure Time: The Cosmic Ham Battle would consist of a variety of them. The player would be placed in the role of numerous “good” characters, battling against the most evil baddies in the Adventure Time universe. Similar to Injustice: Gods Among Us the game will shift from different good guy perspectives, making the battles feel more personal. I propose the following characters be made playable, all of which will possess their own unique skill sets and corresponding summon abilities for both online and offline play:

Finn the Human:
Skill Set: sword play and annoying scream beam.
Summon: BMO.

Jake the Dog:
Skill Set: stretch power and culinary skills.
Summon: Shelby.

Princess Bubblegum:
Skill Set: the power of science and diplomatic influence.
Summon: Gumball Guardians.

Peppermint Butler:
Skill Set: the power of darkness.
Summon: shadow butler.

Ice King:
Skill Set: power of ice and naked leg dancing.
Summon: wave of gunters.

Skill Set: brain melting bass play and sucking the “red” from foes.
Summon: possessed hambo.

Skill Set: intense “unacceptable!” scream and strangling ability.
Summon: gang of lemon citizens.

Magic Man:
Skill Set: being a total jerk.
Summon: basically everything because he is a total jerk.

This is just a small piece of the madness that would ensue in Adventure Time: The Cosmic Ham Battle. I imagine a game where Bubblegum fights Ricardio, Peppermint Butler fights the Lich and so many other monumental battles that could possibly take place. I can picture Marceline and Princess Bubblegum going back in time to stop the Mushroom War, only to fail and be brought back to present Ooo. The possibilities are endless and the potential is extraordinary.

I may be a tad obsessed, but I feel that this could happen. If you like the idea, let me know. If you don’t, I understand and feel free to call me a crazy lady. Either way, let’s get a discussion going. Happy Adventure Time’ing!

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