Super Soccer Noggins: Big Heads, Fast Action

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In a 90-minute FIFA soccer match, few teams score more than 2 goals. In Super Soccer Noggins, you might score twice as many goals within 60 seconds.

Available on Poki, Super Soccer Noggins is one of the best in a new generation of sports games. Instead of costing $60 and requiring an expensive console or PC, this game is totally free. Players can enter a highly competitive tournament within seconds, where countless surprises await. The Ruby Merman Cup—which pits Ireland, Portugal, and Russia against each other—is filled with silly power-ups and wild variations that challenge every player on the field. Oh, and the field itself might be moving, too.

Super Soccer Noggins has cartoon graphics that fit its humorous style perfectly. Instead of showcasing photo-realistic faces and highly detailed jerseys, unnamed players are caricatures of their real-world counterparts. You can expect to see cartoon athletes based on Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Neymar. The caricatures capture each athlete’s signature traits, from unique facial expressions to easily recognizable hairstyles.

Unfortunately, every player’s skills are identical. Without any upgrades, every player in the league is just as good as Messi.

Super Soccer Noggin screen shot

Every match in Super Soccer Noggins is different from the last. When competing for the Hellfire Trophy, you might play on a field with elevating patches of land or a river in the middle. The area above each goal could be covered by pink bumpers or an imposing stone obstacle. Because this is an arcade game, you can expect plenty of power-ups and mods during matches. Green power-ups are good for you, and red power-ups are bad. You can enlarge your opponent’s goal, making it easier for you to score. Or, shrink your goal and wear a Viking helmet for ultimate control. Power-ups are available for either player, and they are awarded to whoever kicks the ball through them.

There are no penalties in Super Soccer Noggins, but Golden Goal rules apply to avoid games ending in a draw. Because each match is only 60 seconds, you must score quickly to win. There is only one player on each team, meaning you must play as offense, defense, and goalkeeper. Every AI opponent plays smartly and moves fast. Winning might seem very difficult at first. But, the controls are so simple that anyone can master every soccer move within minutes.

Other big-headed sports games have come and gone, but none are quite as extensive or fun as Super Soccer Noggins. Before starting a tournament, you can choose to play as one of nine European teams. After winning, you must spend cash prizes to improve your athlete’s abilities. There are many long-term achievements in the game, which reward you with even more money. The more cash you earn, the better you can become. There are six different tournaments, and each one is harder to win than the last. Take advantage of the power-ups in each game, and learn to master the crazy variations in Super Soccer Noggins!

About The Author
Gary A. Swaby Co-founder/UK Managing Editor
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